The Startup Wife

The Startup Wife, by Tahmima Anam: My honest review. Spoiler alert . . . I loved this book. 4.5 Stars

The only thing I love more than writing is reading. Okay, and my kids. At least most of the time. But I have been an avid reader since I was . . . I don’t know, three. Maybe even younger than that. I believe that reading habits are formed when we are young. So I am forever grateful to mom for all those bed time stories, incuding “Oh What a Busy Day!” that she read to me even when she was exhausted at the end of a long day.

But as much as I love reading, deciding what to read can be a challenge. There are So. Many. Books. How do I choose what to read? How do I know what’s worth my time? Am I reading enough different genres? Diverse authors? How can I possibly get through all the books I want to read?

I don’t have any easy answers to those questions, but I do know that I love reading honest reviews from people I trust before investing my time and money in a book. I read a lot of books, five or six a month usually. So I decided it was time to give back to the reading community and write some reviews of my own.

The Startup Wife

The Startup Wife is a story about love, friendship, identity, and religion. So in other words, light reading.

It’s also a witty, fresh, and frightenting satire on big tech, startup culture, and sexism in the workplace.

High school classmates Asha and Cyrus reunite when Asha is working on her Ph.D. at Harvard. She has always had a secret crush on Cyrus and she’s delighted when he shows in interst in her. After a whirlwind romance the two move in together, get married, and Asha leaves her doctoral program behind to work with her new husband.

The couple, along with friend Julian, launch an AI company, WAI (“We Are Infinite”) designed to build community and bring meaning to people’s lives through personally designed rituals that raplace religion.

The app rapidly grows to become one of the most popular social media platforms with millions of users seeking personalized rituals every day. From cat funerals to bar mitzvah like celebrations for the non-Jewish to unique marriage celebrations, there is something for everyone. And Cyrus, the once reluctant face of the company, reaches cult-like status among his followers, who call him the “mesiah.”

Can their marriage withstand the onlsuaght of attention? The sudden fame? Cyrus’ God-like status?

Not Your Average Dupe

When I first picked up this book I didn’t know what I was in for. Based on the title, I thought it was traditional women’s fiction where the first wife, who stuck by her man through all the hard times, was replaced with a newer, younger, flashier model, once his company and he had made it.

We see, hear, and read that story all the time. And the only thing that prevents it from becoming a ho-hum, saw that coming a mile away trope is how often it is true. But The Startup Wife seemed like great reading for the plane..

I was pleasantly surprised to find out that this book was so much more.

Asha doesn’t just stand by her man, although she does do that to an infuriating degree, while he builds a company. She is The Startup Wife in the true sense of the word. Ahsa creates the tech that makes the company possible. Witout Asha and her algorithm, WAI would not exists.

Asha doesn’t sit quietly by while her husband takes up with another woman. No, the person who Cyrus falls in love with is himself. And while the results are no less damaging, Asha saw the likley implosion of her marriage almost from the start.

Worshipping the Messiah

The Startup Wife calls into question many facets of modern society. Starting with organzied religion.

WAI is creaeted as an alternative to religion. Cyrus eyes the growing secularism of society and believes that even people who no longer believe in God still seek the comfort of ritual and the sense of belonging that common traditions bring. Through Asha’s coding brilliance, they create an app that allows non-believers to find belonging with others who share similar interests and ideas.

But it’s not long before these non-belieovers are putting all their faith in WAI, and in Cyrus, the public face of WAI. The Startup Wife makes you ponder if humans are hardwired to worship someone. Like the male visionaries who run tech comapnies.

Or something. Like technology itself. Or success. Or workaholism.

I felt myself reexamining the role that religion plays in my own life, admitedly not a very large one. And whether something else fills that void. The Startup Wife definiteily made me think about the need for faith and tradition and belonging.

A Man’s World

Anotherr theme running through The Startup Wife is feminism. And that’s a theme that is close to my heart. Especially as I try to raise a brilliant sixteen year old daugher who is grappling with her place in what is still, essentially a man’s world.

The Startup Wife takes on this problem head on. It was Asha who created the app. Without her code there would be no compay. And yet, at the begining of the book, she pushes her husband to be the CEO, the face of the company. “I’m just a coder. I’m going to sit in the background,” But even as she says it, I wonder if she believes it. Or if she recognizes the ramifications that this decision has.

How often do women willingly take the back seat? Let men shine? Unwititngly turn over power to the men in their lives?

Asha’s early decisions have serious ramifications as The Startup Wife progresses and Cyrus settles into his new role as a prophet. Whether he gets swept up in the glory, or like so many men is just preconditoned to belive that he is better, smarter, and more deserving of status and success than Asha, it’s not long before he’s dismissing her both literally and figuratively.

A strong cast of female characters in The Startup Wife who have to work twice as hard as the men to acheive success, demonstarte the blatant sexism that exists in startup culture, the tech world, and throughout the U.S. today. But their unabashed efforts to fight back and claime their equality give me hope for the future. These women, young, old, and in between stand up to racist and sexist language and fight for their place at the table.

What’s Love Got to Do With It?

Finally, at it’s core The Startup Wife is a love story. And a cautionary tale about what happens when you mix business and pleasure. When you let one person become your everything.

Early on in the book a lawyer advises the couople that their marriage will never succeed if they start a business together. But young, naive, and in love they laugh him off.

To anyone who’s been married for any length of time, this advice seems prophetic. And in any event there is such a thing as too much togetherness.

Finally, Asha realizes, “I literally created a platform that makes the entire world worship my husband.” What could posibly ne wrong with that?

If you’ve ever felt a little bit disenchanted with social media or the tech empires, or out of place in a world designed by and for men, or unsure of the place you hold in another’s heart, The Satrtup Wife will give you plenty to think about. But you’ll be entertained all the way through.

Happy Reading,