Do the thing now! A Powerful Lesson on Life and Loss

We all think we are going to live forever. But tomorrow is promised to no-one. (I see you rolling your eyes, but I promise this post goes deeper than that.)

And yet, we live like we have all the time in the world to “do the thing.” The big things, the small things, the important things. That thing that means so much to you. That. thing you’ve been dreaming about forever.

But time keeps marching on.

A Fleeting Childhood

When my daughter was little she had this “Hello Kitty” poster that she wanted to hang on her wall. Every night, I’d go into her room and she’s ask me if we could hang it up. And every night I said, “tomorrow.”

I was tired. I worked full time. I had a toddler. The thought of hanging up the poster at the end of the day was so daunting I kept putting it off.

But you know what they say about tomorrow . . . it never comes. And sure enough, her obsession with Hello Kitty ended and the poster remained folded on a shelf in her closet until she threw it away.

It wasn’t that I didn’t care. I felt intense guilt every time I went into her room and looked at the empty wall. How I wished I had taken just a few minutes to do the thing she so desperately wanted me to do.

I even snagged the poster from the trash bag and have it at the bottom of my memory box. Was I just being lazy?

At the time, that’s what I thought of my refusal to do the thing. Laziness. Selfishness. Apathy.

But now that I look back, I see that I was unable, perhaps even unwilling, to see how quickly her childhood would go.

The Tenacious Will to Live

I lost a dear friend this week after a five-year battle with cancer. I wrote about her on Instagram last night. But, fresh from her memorial service I was perhaps too tired and too emotionally spent to convey what I was really thinking. I fear the post came across as a pity party, which is not what I intended.

This woman was an inspiration to me, to everyone she met. And even in her death, I am still learning lessons.

During her treatment she endured countless surgeries, invasive tests, and dozens of rounds of chemo. And she did it all with a smile on her face. She truly was amazing. Her positivity. Her resolve. Her strength. Her tenacious will to live.

During one difficult bout, a group of friends and I gave her a gift certificate for family portraits. We wanted her husband and her boys to have memories of happier times, just in case . . .

But she never used it. Even in the face of a terminal diagnosis, she believed she had all the time in the world. And making time for a photo shoot took time away from living.

This, to me, is a testament not only to her will to live, but to the human will to live. To believe that we are invincible–even if the world very much wants us to believe otherwise.

Unbreakable Human Spirit

They say this foolish sense of immortality is a young person’s misbelief. As we grow older, we grow wiser. And we realize that no-one lives forever.

But I wonder if this is really true. I’ve met ninety-year olds planning their next vacation.

I think a belief in our own immortality is a fundamental part of being human.

Not just the will to survive, but the belief in our own survival. It’s hard to live fully under the shadow of death. But this fortitude makes it possible to survive the unthinkable–torture, abuse, persecution, debilitating illness. It gives us hope and even allows for happiness in times of deep pain.

The human spirit is remarkable in its resiliency. And the possibility of tomorrow is often what makes today worth living.

The Cost of Immortality

And yet . . .

The same hope that comes from believing in tomorrow can diminish our lives today. We fool ourselves into thinking we have all the time in the world. And so we choose not to act. Often, this is not a conscious choice, but it is a choice nonetheless.

We believe we don’t have to do the thing today. We tell ourselves we will do the thing tomorrow. Big things like changing jobs, having a baby, writing a book. Small things like baking the cake or hanging the pictures. Important things like scheduling the mammogram or saying, “I love you,” or “I’m sorry.”

But all too often tomorrow becomes too late.

There are so many reasons not to do the thing. It’s not the right time. We are too busy. We are too young, too poor, too inexperienced. Too afraid. For most of us, this the answer. Fear. We are afraid of failing. We are afraid of what other people will think. We are afraid of succeeding. We are afraid of change.

And so we wait, comfortable in our belief that we can do it tomorrow.

Do the thing now!

But they say a thing that can be done at anytime is often done at no time. And while I don’t know who they are, they are not wrong.

That’s why I’m urging you [and me] to do the thing now. Do it today! At least, get started. Put it on your calendar. Make plan to make it happen. Take that first baby step.

There’s never a good time. There’s only the present time.

So hang the poster. Take the picture. Watch the show. Go for the walk. Start your business. Run the race. Eat the ice-cream. Book the trip.

Whatever the thing is, just do it now!

Off we go!

P.S. Since my kids have gotten older, I no longer live under the illusion that my time with them is unlimited. Now even happy milestones feel so very bittersweet. Read more here.