Election Day Panic
“I can’t breath” my daughter panted last night. “I feel like I can’t breath.”
I rushed into the other room, feeling panic rise in my own chest. In the days of COVID, any comment about difficulty breathing cannot be taken lightly.
I found her in the family room, head between her knees, gasping for air. I rubbed her back and slowly counted to ten to help her slow her breathing. After a few minutes and several questions about symptoms I realized she wasn’t suffering from coronavirus, but rather experiencing a panic attack.
I introduced her to one of my favorite techniques for dealing with a panic attack: The 5-4-3-2-1 Coping Technique. If you’ve ever suffered from anxiety you might be familiar with it. It helps shift your attention from the anxious thoughts to your present condition:
- Name five things you can see
- Name four things you can touch
- Name three things you can hear
- Name two things you can smell
- Name one thing you can taste.
After several minutes her breathing was under control. But her skin was pale and her eyes were glossy and wide.
“What’s wrong?” I asked her.
“I’m just so scared. So scared for tomorrow night.”
“Oh,” I nodded. Her panic attack suddenly made perfect sense.
“Tomorrow night” was today. November 3, 2020. Election Day.
With a little prodding she admitted she was afraid there was going to be a war. My daughter is in 9th grade and mature beyond her years. They are talking about the election in school and she’s been obsessed with reading about it online.
She said that one of her teachers told the class to “be prepared for school to be canceled after Biden wins. It won’t be safe to be on the streets with all those murderous Trump lunatics trying to stage a coup.”
Hmmm… There’s so many things wrong with that statement I’m wasn’t sure where to start.
“What teacher was this? Not history, I hope.”
We live in a suburban town, bordering rural communities, in western PA. There are a lot of Trump supports here. But this is not the place one would stage a coup. I wondered if this teacher even knew what the word coup meant.
According to dictionary.com a coup is a “sudden, violent and illegal seizure of power from a government.” It is worth noting that as of 3:33 on November 3, 2020 the page for “coup” was temporarily unavailable. While there have been many discussion about coups in recent days, there is not government other than the city government to overthrow in my town. And I highly doubt a Biden win would have any impact whatsoever on local politics.
My daughter told me it wasn’t her history teacher, but her bio teacher who spread the warning. Another head scratcher.
Every election provides important lessons in history, politics and civic responsiblity. And the election of 2020 is particularly historic. But I couldn’t figure out how the teacher’s comments were relevant in a science class.
I also took issue with the fact that a pubic school teacher was both predicting a Biden win and attacking people with different political views through name-calling and propaganda.
Finally, I wondered if the “plan” she was referring to was an actual district plan or a figment of her imagination. I had not heard of any contingency plans to cancel school on account of safety. And, as I stated above, given our geographic location, I think it’s highly unlikely that such a plan would be necessary.
“So, do you think there is going to be a coup? Or a civil war?” She asked me. “Because, have you seen Washington, D.C.? It’s all boarded up. The whole town is shut down.”
I felt my heart ache. I had seen pictures of D.C. And Chicago, and Philadelphia, and Portland, New York, Baltimore and Detroit. The shuddering of American cities in advance of an election is one of the saddest things I have ever seen in this country.
And it scares me too.
But not for the same reasons that it scares my daughter. I am not afraid of a civil war. Or a revolution. At least not in the traditional sense of the words.
I am afraid that no matter what happens tonight, or, more likely, in the coming days, the country I knew and loved is dead.
Even without a formal war, we live in a country divided. A country where civil discourse, free speech, and the right to your own opinion no longer exist. A country where common sense is gone. Where a vocal majority control the conversation and the message. Where people who don’t share whatever the politically-correct viewpoint of the day is, and it changes frequently, are canceled.
A country where people are afraid to stand up and say what they believe. A country where violence and lawlessness are considered acceptable as long as the cause is “right.” A country where hypocrisy and inconsistency rule the day. A country where fact is fiction and fiction is fact. A country where there is no more discernible truth.
We have always had political disagreements in the U.S. The right to believe in and vote for different principles is at the heart of a democratic republic. But we used to share common ground that helped us bridge our differences.
Today that common ground is gone. We are no longer “one nation.” We are a collection of public interests and those who suggest we look for commonalities are criticized as naive or out of touch. Or worse.
As I scrolled through my Instagram feed this morning I saw political post after political post after political post. I almost deleted the app. For me, Instagram is supposed to be light and fun. A mini escape. A chance to distract myself from the shitty reality in which we live.
But in the last few months Instagram has become just another platform for loud-mouth bullies to share their ill-conceived opinions. It’s not just the number of people preaching politics, it’s the audacity with which they admonish anyone who dares to have a different viewpoint.
Every Tom, Dick, and Sally with a platform, so basically every Tom, Dick, and Sally thinks they have not only the right, but also the obligation, to tell others what to think.
One of the common themes running through my feed this morning was the judgmental post offering helpful advice on who to vote for. To anyone still undecided this morning, or worse, ambivalent, the message was clear. “You are an idiot.” I may be paraphrasing.
If you don’t vote you’re unAmeican. As a constitutional lawyer it’s unclear to me why this is the only right that remains both valuable and obligatory. If you don’t vote for either of the mainstream candidates you are wasting your vote and may as well vote for Trump. And, if you do vote for Trump you are a misogynistic, white supremacist who is voting for fascism.
There may be just as many posts that condemn Biden voters as equally irresponsible. But they weren’t on my feed. Which should tell you something about my feed. And my politics. Yet, I found myself throwing the phone across the room this morning and promising myself I would avoid all media, social or otherwise, for the rest of the day.
This is without a doubt one of the most depressing days in my lifetime. It is inconceivable to me that with 328 million people in the U.S., Donald Trump and Joe Biden are the two [viable] options we have for President.
It is inconceivable to me that no matter what the outcome is of this election, our country will be no better off in four years than it is today.
It is inconceivable that my choice comes down to the “least-bad” option.
Incidentally, I didn’t vote for either of them. I know, I know. I’m unAmerican. I’m part of the “problem.” I “wasted” my vote. I’ve heard it all before. And I don’t care. As a former constitutional lawyer I take my right to vote very seriously. And I am going to exercise that right in the way I see best. This year, and every year.
I could not in good conscience vote for either of those two men. One is a deplorable human being who is completely out of touch with reality. He lies incessantly and treats people horribly.
The other is a man who has had almost 50 years to do something good for this country and still hasn’t made an impact. When I watch him speak he does not even appear to want to be President of the U.S. I question his cognitive abilities and fear the prospect of having one party in control of all three branches of government. (Yes, I know most people consider the Supreme Court to be too conservative. Most recent nominee notwithstanding, my study of Supreme Court jursiprudence under the current Chief Justice does not convince me that this is so).
Most of my adult life has been devoted to principle. It’s a lonely existence. Most people are willing to do anything to make their lives easier. To get the promotion. Or the hand out. To
I feel like my father when I say I no longer see a way out. This is not the country of my youth. A country that was not perfect to be sure, but was the greatest nation in the world.
This is not the country that came together after 9/11, that found a united
Cancel culture has effectively eradicated the last vestiges of free speech in our society. Sure, the social media
